literature

Confessions

Deviation Actions

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Literature Text

He said I love you to me, and I could only look at him bewildered. I asked him to repeat what he had said, and he did. I couldn’t believe my ears. That someone, anyone, especially him, would say those words to someone like me. I almost started crying on the spot, but that’s not ladylike at all. Instead I laughed nervously and debated on what would be the best response. So I asked him why he thought he loved me and he told me that he had been thinking about it the past few days. How he felt lonely without me and how he was happy talking to me. How there was something missing when he didn’t get to talk. I think I could have died right then and been perfectly happy. I took his hand and traced letters on his palm. I. L. O. V. he was smiling, I saw it in the corner of my eye, that gentle smile that actually reached his eyes from time to time. It was easy to distinguish even with the darkness. E. Y. O. U. T. O. O. He laughed softly now and I swear I felt my heart jumping out of my chest. I still couldn’t believe his words. I feared they may be a mistake on his part. After all, people always grow sick of me shortly after they confess their affections. I moved and rolled over to face him in the bed and he looked at me before we kissed. My stomach tied in knots that instant it was such a wonderful feeling. His lips on mine, soft, sweet, and in their own way, very temping. When I pulled away from the kiss I hugged him and hid my head in his neck. I managed to muster up the courage to whisper the words I love you and I felt his arms tighten around me. Then the words from him were spoken questioning how hard it was for me to say that. So I put my hand on my chest to see if my heart was ready to burst inside but I didn’t feel a pulse, I checked my neck, nothing. So I told him to try and he too couldn’t find my pulse. I wondered at that instant if maybe I had just died due to the joy that was overrunning me. I shook him playfully and told him he killed me and he laughed. I like his laugh, it’s not loud, it’s actually particularly soft at times, and it has this strange soothing sensation for me. I could listen to him laugh all day, but I’m not nearly that funny. He smelled like smoke, I had been able to push it off for the most part of the night, but laying in such close proximity to him caused my hypersensitive nose to pick up on it and it didn’t take long for a headache to start forming. But at that moment I didn’t care. I am so happy; I still cannot explain it. There was just something about this boy that was different. Not that I hadn’t met nice guys before, but for some reason, I feel he is genuine about his feelings. I hope he is, I’ve been pushed under the bus enough times to be wary. I trust him, and my feelings were not a lie. I did not say them because I felt obligated to, but because he had worked his way into my heart. He has the ability to change my entire mood, everything with just one word. I guess that’s not exactly a good thing considering that being so emotionally attached to someone is dangerous to say the least. Especially someone with my strange tendencies. That didn’t matter though, I was just content. I kissed him again and it wasn’t the greatest because I’m not very experienced at kissing, but he claims he isn’t either. He said we could learn together and I  couldn’t help but laugh. He’s the complete opposite of me. Clean, tidy, and I can’t let go of things, I keep everything, for as long as possible. It’s a disaster overall. But it’s who I am, and he says he accepts that because it’s a part of me. I just have to be wary and wonder how long he will accept that because it’s me. Right now, I wish greatly for one thing, but I know it won’t work. To be in a relationship with anyone right now is dangerous for me. My mom doesn’t agree and I guess I can’t really blame her. I’m working on things, going to  try and improve my grades to make sure that she can’t object, but it’s going to take another semester since I had to drop a class this past semester. It was something that wasn’t what I expected. I wish I could say he was my boyfriend, but right now he’s my friend that I love more than a friend. I think he has a lot of things in his life he needs to get in order as well. What he wants to do, who he wants to be, everything. Anyways, back to the smell of smoke, While I didn’t mind it too much it got to me after a while and I told him. He took off his shirt and laid in his undershirt, which smelled just about the same as his shirt. As we kissed I could taste that rumored bitter taste from cigarettes and it made my stomach turn, and not in a good way. Not to mention the faint taste of alcohol. All I could manage to utter was the simple word bitter and he laughed saying he should go brush his teeth. Logically I should have let him, but after the kisses, I knew my breath smelled just as bad and I didn’t have anything to brush my teeth with so I told him not to worry about it. We laid down after he removed his undershirt and hugged me. Well, I sort of made him. I could have just slept like that for hours. I’ve never been like that. I don’t normally sleep when people hold me, but I feel so at ease with him. Perfectly calm and able to relax. It’s happened on more than one occasion where I fell asleep in his arms and woke up still in them. It’s the most amazing feeling, and as I lay here and type this, I can still feel his arms around me. I know it’s not real, logic tells me that much, but my heart does crazy things with me. The next morning we talked, and he told me his story, and I rambled on about myself again. Sometimes I wonder if he ever gets bored because I’m sure I’ve said the same story so many times, but he never says he is. We talked for two hours, and I looked at him, and I just felt perfectly content. When we got up, we went hiking. I showed him the place that Elly and I call Narnia, and he was out of breath quick. The poor guy. I showed him the nice view, and made him keep walking to different views before I dropped him back off at home. I think maybe I’m just a little crazy for writing all this, but I had to express it somehow. I want to remember today, for what it was. For what I told Cain, for what he told me. For the tears he brought to my eyes by those three words. How could I dare to forget it?

-Foxy
Just a random thing I decided to write.
© 2013 - 2024 AmieMourna
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BladeReedWarrior's avatar
That. Is. Awesome. I'm. In. Love. With. It. Now.