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April 13, 2005April 13, 2005
This weekend if you not busy we should get together and have a deep conversation! And your right I have a fear that you wont understand, but I also have a fear that you might understand to much and use it against me. So this weekend we should have a deep conversation. Art studio is having a show Saturday night we could go talk or something. Well GTG TTYL Love,
That's a wonderful idea! I could let you in on my past and you could let me in on your thoughts. I am going to ask Casey to come but when we have this deep conversation and you would like her to leave I can ask if she will. But really, Casey has shown herself to be a very wise person when the situation calls for it. I don't know from what time to what time I work Saturday but I'll try to find out. If I can't make it Saturday (and if it's anything like last Saturday, I won't) then maybe Sunday we can do something. I have to go to work at 6p.m. on Sunday. Hope we can do something this weekend.
April 11, 2005April 11, 2005
Hey Sorrowful Sorrow,
The only thing you can do is tell her. You cannot tell me that you don't like her. But I think that before you love someone other than Casey have to distance yourself from Casey. The only way to move on is to see Caseys flaws, (don't say she doesn't have any) to distance yourself from them because what you and her do is a game theres no sense in it. Its immature. Yes, its love I know, I understand, but you have to move on you cant wish for something that will never be. Casey seems perfect seems like everything but she wont always be able to help you when you truly need it because she has to many problems of her own. "You cant help someone before you help yourself." Chris Linda will understand if you just tell her. Dont do anything rash. Love,
I wrote Linda letter. I know your trying to help but I know what I'm doing . I've seen Casey's flaws and I've accepted them. And I still love her. She has alway's been here for me and I'm not w
April 5, 2005April 5, 2005
Well 1st period has come and gone. I was one of six people there. Not I'm one of four people. Today rocks. But only until I start to think about this past Saturday. Then I feel like shit again. I'm really not ready to write about it yet. All in good time. Time is all I have. Until death take me.
I'm just being depressed about everything. No one loves me and no one cares. Maybe I'll try to kill myself again. (lol) not really. With good friends like the one in E.E.T. I will be okay. My mother is still a bitch. My father still never calls, my step-father's a yutz, and my brother just all around aggravates me! Okay now my blue pen won't work not I'm really angry! I hate pencil! The world is A sad place with sad people in it. I need my Zoloft. Fuck the zoloft it doesn't even really work fr me. Oh well my life is a bitch. HAVE A NICE FUCKING DAY!!
Sexuality sucks big hairy Dick. My thoughts are once again complicated. I do
April 4, 2005April 4, 2005
Nothing to write at the moment. Now time for Dominick.
HELLO!! All. Did you miss me? I am back now from phyciatric journey form the Behavior Health Center. It was nice yet sad. Oh well I still rule! And for the record I still hate Ramsey! But other than tha I still love everyone. My birthday is May 26th I will be 16 so I better get something nice or ELSE!!
P.S. I have a tattoo!!
My life has been very confusing lately. Turns out my dad is divorcing my mom 4 sure + Im so confused about my feelings + my sexuality lol. I know Im not gay, but I don't know what I am either. And love wise, Im so confused about my feelings + emotions. Some days Im sure I really love craig + others I think Im just scared to hurt him. Well, that's the bell, g2g. Always,
March 31, 2005March 31, 2005
This is it. Today will be the last day I think over who I'm going to be with. By the end of the day I will make my decision. I hope its the right one.
I'm glad my mom's okay, too. I didn't know how bad it was until she got home. I'll be over-joyed if this could end with everyone getting what they want. I'll be happy if it's just end I'm glad we get along, too. It's okay that I cried. I know I'm weak. Don't be sorry. There's another similarity between me and Brandi. I could have any guy at any given moment. Only difference, is I wish it wasn't true. We also speak the same. We both care. I can understand how you like her. She seems nice. It's nice that you asked. Just for the record, some people beat others because their parents beat them as children and believe it okay in their poor fucked up mind. Don't wish death upon others. I hope I'll be able to tell you wrongnesses in my life, too. Please, try hard.
I've already read your thoughts. E
March 30, 2005March 30, 2005
Well, it seems I am going to have to pick between Casey and Brandi. For all the people who don't know Brandi (i.e. all of you) she's a really nice 21 year old I know. I'm not going into everything right because everything's not clear. Right now I only hope I pick the right one. But hey, this past Monday, I got to watch Casey and Samantha make out and other such things. What's better is that I got to take part in it. A really big wonderful part.
Alot of things have changed really fast. I was reading over the soul and watched how my mood has been changing. I'm ready for Casey to reach this again. And Casey, you can go ahead and write in here again. I'm not using it for very much. Love you.
I have not much to say. A lot is in my soul. I don't want to re-write because it took a while. I am lost as well. Please, wait, and I shall help myself.
I really hate standing on the side doing nothing when my best friend needs help. It makes me feel u
March 24, 2005March 24, 2005
Oh, well I don't think your using her I just think you want to forget. Theres nothing wrong with that. Tomorrows Naval Ball!! Well I hope you find the right way. Thanks for giving Daniel a ride because hes being a punk in good terms. My Counselor says I'm NORMAL! Well my thoughts are complicated I can hardly think so. This is where I must part good fellow, love
What if everything means nothing? What if nothing was the only thing? What if it was all a lie? Don't you hate "what if"?
The school day has almost come to a close. I just did alot of thinking and I've come to find that Casey means to much to me to forget. I don't think anyone knows why I love her. I'm not even sure she knows. Before I met Casey I was nothing like I am now. It didn't matter if I lived or died. Love was just a lie told by people faking happiness. I would cut myself everyday. Some small cuts, some big. I didn't care who know I was a cuter. If they saw the wounds and asked about t
March 23, 2005March 23, 2005
Not that you have reminded me, I really don't want Linda to go. I, for some reason, was in the mindset that she was staying here. That makes me sad. That's not fair. I want her to stay. At least she will get to see her family. You didn't force me into anything, Elia. I hope we will all enjoy ourselves. Answering questions now. Yes, a person can change. It is up to that person to try and change. Some people just don't want to. Love can be real. You have to find it in yourself. No on can love you until you learn to love yourself and the people around you. Lonliness can drive a person mad. It can take them to the point of Death. But without hate, lonliness, sorrow, misery, pain, and everything tha comes with it, would not exist.(?) Hate is the wrose poison in all the world. About the statement you made. I knew you weren't lying. I know alot. I hope anything I've said may help you in some way, love,
How did you know? Did Ramsey Tell you? Do you have
March 22, 2005March 22, 2005
I still have not called Ramsey. Just thought I'd state that. Casey and Daniel aren't together anymore and if they ever get back together, I would think Casey foolish. Just like I was, Just like I always am. Not the point right now. At the moment the point is Casey's sad and I must make her happy. On a side note, I don't want to work today, That's about it for now. That and I can't wait for friday. I get to go to Naval Ball with Linda. Wow I feel weird.
I know why I feel weird. I'm really truly excited(?) about going to the Naval Ball. I've never been that way about going to a social event. Ever. Casey seemed to be doing better. I can't tell for sure. If she's anything like me, if she tries, she can hide how she feels and no one would know. I think when I next see Linda I'll give her the soul. And a hug. Well, maybe three hugs. Depends. So if you're reading this Linda that means you got it and you're hugs. I hope you write in here. I love you.
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^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More